How is it that so many seemingly successful people are sometimes so deeply unhappy?
In fact, some of the worlds most successful people suffer depression at almost double the rate of the general public.
What good is success and the years and years of hard work and sacrifice it takes to achieve peak performance if the end result is sadness and misery?
Not much.
Success without fulfillment is failure -Tony Robbins
I remember working my “dream job” as a Business Jet Captain for some of the world’s richest and most powerful individuals. I travelled the world, stayed in 5 star hotels and resorts, and was compensated very well. After only 7 years of doing this however I was less fulfilled and more depressed than I had ever been before in my life. On the outside I had everything, on the inside I was unfulfilled.
So what was the problem? Why are so many seemingly successful people so unhappy? After all, on the outside they appear to literally have it all.
Authenticity Discrepancy
While there are a number of possible explanations including pressure, stress, a lack of work life balance, changing values, and identity crisis, the one I would like to focus on is a misalignment between values. An authenticity discrepancy.
This is where there’s a break between someones personal version of success, and the version of success they’re currently living and achieving.
The problem with success is that it’s a subjective and somewhat vague term. What may be great for someone is another persons nightmare. Success is different for everybody.
We’ve all been shown what success should look like on TV and through the media. These are the images and shows of the wealthy, famous, and the all-star athletes. People who have accomplished great things, and have a lot to show for it.
But what happens when society’s version of success doesn’t quite line up with your own personal version? We also only see the financial success of the rich and famous Rarely do we get a glimpse inside their personal lives, relationships, health, community involvement, and friendships.
Success is so much more than money.
Is That All There Is?
The other danger of not clearly identifying your version of success is what happens when you finally achieve someone else’s version of success and find you’re still just as unhappy as you were before.
That’s not a pleasant feeling, and it can leave you confused, discouraged, and resigned.
Enjoy The Journey
The journey is a lot longer than the destination, because the journey never ends. Nor should it.
When we stop growing, we start dying, so the key is to define your own version of success and start to work towards it, and then beyond. Whatever your version of success may be, there should always be the goal to do it better.
Whether that’s a better businessperson, a better spouse, a better friend or mentor, a better golfer/farmer/speaker/writer/lawyer/accountant/doctor… it doesn’t matter, the goal should always be to improve, and to improve in all the areas of your life that are important to you.
There is almost no greater feeling than that which comes from knowing you’re living a life that’s true to yourself, your vision, and your values.
Success doesn’t lead to happiness. Happiness leads to success.
Here’s how you can start moving towards your own version of success today.
1. Define your own personal version of success
- Ignore what society and the media say and decide for yourself what it is that would really make you feel successful. When you’re looking back on your life, what would you need to do to feel good about the life you lived.
2. Be thankful for what you already have
- Gratitude causes us to massively and immediately feel better about ourselves, our situation, and everything around us. Best of all, it’s fast, easy, and free to do at anytime. Rather than success leading to happiness as we’ve been told to believe, instead happiness leads to success.
3. Take steps towards increasing the habits and behaviors that will move you closer to your version of success
- Start to increase positive behaviors and habits as defined by you. Also begin to decrease the negative habits and behaviors that are moving you further away from you personal version of success or towards someone else’s.
4. Enjoy the trip
- As I discussed earlier, life is a journey, not a destination, so make it an enjoyable one. Continue to increase the things that make life worthwhile and do your best to eliminate the forces that work against that.
5. Keep Growing
- Continue to make an effort to work on and improve the areas of your life that are important to you. Happiness leads to success, but so does progress.
There is almost no greater feeling than that which comes from knowing you’re living a life that’s true to yourself, your vision, and your values. My version of success now encompasses all areas of my life, not just financial, and it’s my goal to continue to consistently increase all of them without sacrificing any.
Only you can define your own personal version of success. By deciding now what that version is, and the things that are, and are not, important to you, can you begin to take control of your life, your success, and your happiness.
