It’s ok to like yourself. In fact, its important. Not only for your health, happiness, and general well-being, but also for your success.
But liking yourself isn’t enough. You also need to treat yourself as good as you would treat your best friend, maybe even better.
There’s a saying I like that goes “If people treated their friends as badly as they treated themselves, they wouldn’t have any friends at all.”
Sadly this is easy to see.
There’s a difference between having self-respect and ego and you should never be ashamed to like, love, and respect yourself.
How You Speak
The last time you forgot something, dropped something, messed something up, or did anything else less than perfect, what words did you use with yourself?
For most people their dialogue quickly goes to something like “How could I be so stupid?”, “I always mess this up”, or “I’m clearly never going to understand that”.
The problem with speaking to yourself like this (aside from unnecessarily beating yourself up and an unhealthy internal dialogue) is that it also shows other people how to treat us.
If we don’t respect ourselves, why would they?
How You Act
The same thing goes with how we act.
Someone who is perpetually late is a pet-peeve of mine.
I pride myself on being a punctual person but I do have a few family members who don’t place the same value on time.
Over the years I’ve learned to adapt, and so I’m never in a hurry when I head out to meet them as the odds are good that I’ll still end up being the one waiting.
They have, in essence, trained me that they can’t be counted on to show up on time, and so there’s no need for me to rush or show up on time for them.
Respect: Give It To Get It
The best way to get respect, is to give respect. Not only to other people but also to yourself.
It’s also important to identify the things that are important to you (values, attitudes, beliefs, etc) so that you act accordingly and demonstrate just what is, and what is not ok.
You really don’t have to put up with negative or abusive people. Life’s too short!
So how can you show yourself, and the world, that you’re worthy of respect and don’t need to put up with negative thoughts, words, or actions?
1. How you dress
You don’t need to be into fashion or follow the latest trends, just make an effort to dress according to the situation you’re in. I’ve said it a number of times before, whether we like it or not we are judged by our appearance. Dressing well shows not only self-respect but also respect for others.
2. How you speak (of yourself and others)
Don’t speak badly of others and never gossip. Everyone knows that a gossip is just as likely to talk about you the moment you walk away. You don’t want to be that person.
3. What you do
If punctuality is important to you, than be punctual. If being kind is important, than be kind. Our actions speak louder than words and how we act shows others (and ourselves) the kind of people we are.
by doing self-controlled acts, we come to be self-controlled; and by doing brave acts, we come to be brave. ~ Aristotle
4. What you accept from others
You can’t control another persons behavior but you can control how you react to it. If someone does something unacceptable to you, you have a few choices.
- You can speak up,
- Ignore it,
- Or leave.
Just remember there’s a time and place for everything.
Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference. -Mark Twain
In the end it’s up to you to treat yourself well and to provide the example for other people.
Starting to treat yourself better will not only end up making you feel better, look better, and live better, but it will also provide an example for those around you showing how they can do the same.
It all starts with treating yourself just a little bit better.
